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I need help. Even if I am being a drama queen dont call me one.
...written on 2004-09-10, @ 9:18 p.m.
First I am not going to use peoples' names-even their first name-in the entry because a few (ok 1) of my readers are trying to figure out who I like and ask everyone that I mention in my entries a lot of annoying questions and I have to get to the poor person being interrogated before the annoying one talks to them. I am tired of doing that so until the annoying one quits being nosey things will have to be this way.
Ok so the guy I like knows I like him...now he is trying to decide if he wants to ask me out.
The thing is I just realized a couple of hours ago that I don't want to go out with him, yet anyways.
You have to understand that my last few relationships have been failures. I think the reason is becuase I jumped into them too quickly without getting to know the guy. I hardly knew anything about them something just attracted me to them and then I found out that there was no compatibility between us. Then I would try to make it work, then I got fed up, and then we broke up.
I am in high school now and I should be more mature about my "relationships". All the random going out shit is well...shit. All those people never really knew what they wanted (myself included). I don't want that to happen again.
I really like this guy and I don't want to take the chance of that middle school stuff happening. I need to tell him this, but the I don't know how to tell him any of this because
1) I don't have his msn address (Ok well someone just gave it to me)and it would look really desperate of me to just add him. I am not desperate, I want to make that clear to him. I don't want to lose any of the friendship type feeling we had before I admitted my "crush" (I hate that word by the way)
2) I don't know how he feels about me. There are times when I think he likes me but it is probably just meer flirting like today in a random class that I will not name cuz the annoying one will try to track down everyone in that class. I don't want to sound conceiting by saying "I don't want a relationship right now" when he probably doesn't even like me.
So maybe I should say, "I know that you know I like you" or Not. I have no idea what to say. Someone help me. I need some help but there are not very many people on MSN right now....o what should I do?