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Confused
...written on 2005-02-01, @ 9:24 p.m.
Amber I hate to bust your bubble of eternal (or at least current) happiness, but apparently No you can not flirt as you please when you are single. I was lectured about this today by some "friends".
Here is some reasons why:
1) It's annoying.
2) It leads guys on.
3) It makes guy that really don't have a chance think they do, and that is mean. (Even though I think flirting is harmless).
4)Something about being really really annoying.
Ok so it is true. I do flirt a lot, but I don't think anything about it. Flirting means nothing to me. Its pathological or subconcious or something crazy like that. I'm usually not even aware of it. Or well I wasn't until all in the time frame of a week I was accused of liking four guys, and I don't like any of them. They were Sean, Michael (Doug's brother), Jason, and Scott.
I am at the stage where I don't like anyone so I am bored all the time and occupy myself by flirting. I sort of wish I liked someone and if I wanted to I probably could like someone, but I don't know if I want to put out the effort to get to know someone and get attached. I am still worried about getting hurt. There are some guys at school that are really nice and I could see myself dating, but what if I really start to like them and I get hurt again? So I am just hanging back and waiting, and wishing for a guy that is right. The only problem is what if I miss the guy that is right? What if I don't even know he exists or that I have a chance with him? What if I miss all the signs or ignore them because I am unsure. I don't want to mess up the future, and so I don't stay away or come nearer to guys. But what if I mess up the future by not getting to know one that is good for me.