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Brandon is coming back tomorrow!
...written on 2004-11-29, @ 9:26 p.m.
OK AMBER. His ring is supposed to be big. Why don't you do what every other girl in America does and tie string around it and wear it on your middle finger.
Tonight at the FFA meeting Doug, Sean, Jaykob and I broke a table we were sitting on. I blame it on Sean. Lukas and Adam and Austin TRIED to fix it using all their "strength". Can you say retarded in a more southern accent boys?
I got a ride home from the meeting with Mikey. He and Kasey Kiser make me laugh. When Mikey gets excited you can hear his voice crack. I was the tallest one in the truck. Kasey asked me if I wanted to sit by Mikey or not. I said I didn't care. So I sat by the door and Kasey was in the middle. His legs are shorter anyway.
Much better after my pity entry last night. You will never believe the person that talked me through that shitty night. Scott. Yeah I am shocked too. He said some things that really made sense and I think I am a lot better now.
I handled the John situation a lot different today than I normally do. Usually we both just kind of meet in the middle of a room somewhere like we are pulled to each other and start a conversation. It is really weird feeling, like we both know exactly where to head and meet there. My feet get minds of their own. But today, I made myself behave and I avoided all contact with him. That didn't stop him from walking over and talking to me. On the way out of Ag, I left in front of him without even looking at him and he said, "How was your weekend?"
I pretended not to hear him and kept walking. He asked again and then said, "Fine, then."
Not wanting to be a complete bitch (and because I really did want to talk to him) I said, "It's cold out here (we were outside at the time)."
He said, "Your weekend was cold?"
Boys.... *rolls eyes*
Then after art I ignored him mostly. Tonight at the FFA meeting I didn't ignore him very well. Instead I let my feet do what they wanted to. Well for a while, until I realized what they were doing. Then back to ignoring him and giving him weird looks when I saw him looking at me. Which he did several times.
I really want to talk to him about all this. I need to get some things out in the open with him that I haven't told anyone at all but myself, but I can't unless I find exactly the right situation and find a way to work it in. I just need to talk to him and I can't find a way. I think if I did then maybe I could move on completely without getting a flip-flop feeling when he walks in the room or smiles at me in a certain way. This is all so confusing. Should I talk to him or should I just keep trying to get over him? I need some help and suggestions from anyone (Even you Kayla).